He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize