You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
