If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
