dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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