it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
