google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
