Cold hands, warm shart.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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