I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
