and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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