So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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