I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
