What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
