You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Still dying that you shit outside
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
