Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
