I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
