Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
