You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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