You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
