using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
