and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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