The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize