After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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