for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
