omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
