I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
how does that bad decision feel?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
