I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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