No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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