I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize