Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
