ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
