I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
