Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
