College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
