went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize