I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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