He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize