My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
