I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
