it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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