Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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