I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
