That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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