the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
