My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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