So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm too high and old for this...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
