Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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