life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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