Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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