i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
