if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
