I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
