Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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