I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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