I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize