just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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