it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
