dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
