The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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