he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
