Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
