Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
