i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
